All or Nothing Read online

  

  Slick Rock 23

  Al or Nothing

  After being imprisoned and abused for most of her life, Kat Russo wants nothing to do with men. Although she’s highly attracted to the three new deputies, she keeps them at arm’s length with her vicious tongue and bravado attitude.

  Jalen, Dante, and Mica Donnybrook want Kat to be their woman but don’t think they stand a chance. Even though they got to know her while she was living in their house and under their protection, she adamantly refuses any of their advances.

  When Kat experiences a flashback and is diagnosed with PTSD, the three Donnybrook brothers rally around her to help her come to terms with all she’s endured, but she keeps pushing them away.

  However, the heat sparking between them is too intense to ignore forever and she finally capitulates and agrees to try a relationship with them.

  Once more, Kat finds herself in danger but since no one knows she’s missing, she doesn’t think she’ll get out of the situation alive.

  Genres: Contemporary, Ménage a Trois/Quatre, Romantic Suspense, Western/Cowboys

  Length: 63,017

  ALL OR NOTHING

  Slick Rock 23

  Becca Van

  

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK

  All or Nothing

  Copyright © 2019 by Becca Van

  ISBN: 978-1-64243-815-4

  First Publication: May 2019

  Cover design by Les Byerley

  All art and logo copyright © 2019 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  If you find a Siren-BookStrand e-book or print book being sold or shared illegally, please let us know at [email protected]

  PUBLISHER

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  My name is Becca Van. I live in Australia with my wonderful hubby of many years, as well as my two children.

  I read my first romance, which I found in the school library, at the age of thirteen and haven’t stopped reading them since. It is so wonderful to know that love is still alive and strong when there seems to be so much conflict in the world.

  I dreamed of writing my own book one day but, unfortunately, didn’t follow my dream for many years. But once I started I knew writing was what I wanted to continue doing.

  I love to escape from the world and curl up with a good romance, to see how the characters unfold and conflict is dealt with. I have read many books and love all facets of the romance genre, from historical to erotic romance. I am a sucker for a happy ending.

  For all titles by Becca Van, please visit

  www.bookstrand.com/becca-van

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  ALL OR NOTHING

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Epilogue

  ALL OR NOTHING

  Slick Rock 23

  BECCA VAN

  Copyright © 2019

  Prologue

  “Niki!” Kat screamed and bolted upright.

  Tears trickled down her face as the dream of her sister’s possible death faded, again. She was panting and sweating and couldn’t stop herself from glancing around her room frantically. When her eyes peered into the corners of her room where the shadows were impossibly dark, her heart thudded so hard she was sure she was about to, or was having a heart attack. Niki hadn’t died, but that didn’t seem to matter. Every night since the bombing and her own abduction, Kat dreamt about her sister dying.

  With a fearful urgency, she scrambled from the middle of her queen-sized bed and with a shaky hand fumbled for the switch on the second-hand bedside lamp she’d been lucky enough to pick up for a couple of bucks at a yard sale. Finally, light spilled into the room, and she once more gazed about to make sure she was alone. Tears threatened as they burned the back of her eyes, but she pushed them away. Katerina Russo had learned that crying got her nowhere other than making herself feel terrible.

  She looked at the clock and groaned when she saw the time and realized that she’d only been asleep for an hour and a half.

  With a sigh of frustration, she flung the covers aside and stalked into the tiny bathroom off her room. Turning on the shower as she peeled her sweat-soaked nightshirt and panties off, she stepped in under the cold water, shivering when goosebumps pebbled her skin.

  Although she was happy that her sister had found three men to love and care for her, Kat was once more alone. While she was alone because of the choices she’d made, she didn’t regret her decision.

  She’d left the Donnybrook men’s house an hour after the three brothers had left for the night shift as deputy sheriffs. They’d kindly taken her into their home when she and Niki had been in danger. Kat’s and Niki’s deceased father had been the mob boss of Chicago, and once he’d been poisoned and six feet under, Vinnie Ramos had set out to get Niki and Kat back under his thumb. Ramos had bought Niki from their father when he’d handed Matteo Russo the keys to his Ferrari, but thankfully, Kat’s sister had managed to escape before Vinnie had raped her. Vinnie’s cohort Thaddeus Simmonds had created a distraction in the Slick Rock Library where Kat worked, set off a small bomb as a diversion, and kidnapped her. The two assholes had used Kat’s abduction to draw her sister out of hiding, and it had worked.

  Niki had been shot as she’d taken out Ramos and then Simmonds, but her sister hadn’t been fast enough and had ended up in the hospital. Niki was back home at the ranch with her three fiancés, Brentley, Heston, and Rigby Lyndon. Kat hadn’t left her sister’s bedside until she’d been released from the hospital today, and while she wanted to go out to the ranch to visit with her only living relative, Kat was wracked with guilt.

  If she hadn’t been distracted while searching the library to make sure all the patrons had gotten out safely after the bombing, her younger sister never would have been hurt.

  Kat was used to living with guilt, because she’d been dealing with it for just over twelve months. She’d left Niki behind with their monster of a father and his evil goons when she’d managed to escape while visiting a medical professional.

  She pushed her thoughts aside and turned the hot water higher until she stopped shivering. After quickly washing her hair and body, her knees gave out as she sank to the base of her shower. She sat under the warm spray with her legs tucked up close to her body and her arms wrapped around them. The whole time she’d washed the sweat away, tears had rolled down her face, but she couldn’t hold the storm back any longer. Once the first sob burst from between her parted lips, another followed and then another, until she was sobbing her heart out.

  She wa
s alone once again, and while she intended to keep it that way, she hated it. She hated being scared of her own shadow. Hated being alone and lonely, and she hated herself.

  Niki had looked up to her, and she’d let her sister down, not once but twice. Leaving her under their abusive father’s thumb had been mental torture, and then she’d fucked up again when she’d been taken by one of her father’s henchmen.

  Kat didn’t know how Niki could stand to look at her when she could barely meet her own gaze in the mirror.

  After a while, her tears slowed and she sniffed. Her chest was so tight it hurt, and she was having trouble swallowing around the emotional lump constricting her throat, but again, that was nothing new to her. She sucked in a deep breath, shoved to her feet, turned the shower off, got out, dried off, and dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt.

  She knew she wouldn’t be getting anymore sleep tonight and only hoped when Jalen, Dante, and Mica Donnybrook discovered her gone, they didn’t come looking for her.

  She’d stayed in the deputy sheriffs’ house for far too long already. Now that her life was no longer in danger, there was no need to stay with them.

  Kat had had a difficult time keeping her eyes and her hands to herself whenever in Jalen’s, Dante’s, and Mica’s presence. All three of the Donnybrook men were a threat to her libido and her independence, but she had no intention of letting them into her life.

  She’d seen what men in love did to the people they were supposed to care about and had decided she was never, ever going to have a relationship with a man.

  Thaddeus Simmonds had kidnapped her and knocked her unconscious. When she’d come to, Kat had been terrified to find herself naked, bound to a bed in a motel room, and gagged. He’d touched her, and even though she’d tried to get away from him, had screamed as loudly as she could, her efforts had been useless.

  Shivers of revulsion slithered up her spine, and her stomach roiled with nausea. Kat swallowed and tried to push the threatening sickness away. She could still feel that fucker’s hand on her breasts, his fingers squeezing and twisting her nipples so hard she was sure he was going to rip them off. She’d screamed in agony, but he’d only laughed. When she’d met his cold eyes and seen the lascivious hunger in them, she knew he was going to rape her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget him touching her breasts and between her legs while Vinnie Ramos just sat there watching.

  If Niki hadn’t turned up when she’d been told to, Kat knew that Simmonds would have raped and killed her.

  Niki had saved her life, and all Kat had ever done for her younger sister was leave her behind and lure her into even more danger.

  Kat couldn’t come to terms with what she’d done, what had been done to her and suspected she never would.

  She didn’t realize she was trembling until she lifted her hands to rub over her arms. She glanced at the shower and shook her head. No matter how many times she bathed, she knew she’d never feel clean again.

  Kat was seriously thinking about leaving Niki and Slick Rock behind. Her sister was in love and happy and didn’t need her anymore.

  No one needed Katerina Russo.

  Not even herself.

  Chapter One

  “Fuck! She’s fucking gone,” Jalen Donnybrook snarled as he pulled into the drive to his and his brothers’ new home. He pressed his foot down on the brake so hard the wheels skidded and squealed.

  “Where the fuck would she go?” Dante asked as he unclipped his seatbelt and shoved the front passenger door open.

  “Her apartment,” Mica answered as he got out of the back of the truck, sighing and combing his fingers through his hair.

  “Do you think she’s all right?” Dante asked.

  Jalen shrugged as he stomped up the steps to the porch and the front door. He’d thought they were getting through to her, but it looked as if he’d just been deluding himself. He and his brothers had all been instantly attracted to Kat and had thought she’d been coming around with their casual touches and embraces. He was pissed because he felt as if Kat had been playing them. He shook his head. She might have responded to their caressing hands on her arm and back, but she’d never tried to use her feminine wiles on them.

  He rubbed at the tight muscles at the back of his neck as he headed to the kitchen. Dante and Mica followed him. Opening the fridge, he grabbed three bottles of beer out and passed one each to his brothers before popping the top on his own and taking a swig.

  “She might have gone to see Niki since she was released from hospital late yesterday afternoon,” Mica suggested.

  “I don’t think so,” Dante said after slugging down half his beer. “You know as well as I do that Kat wasn’t happy being under our roof.”

  “She shouldn’t fucking be alone.” Jalen slammed his fist against the granite counter, then shook out his aching knuckles. “She’s scared and hurting.”

  “How the hell are we supposed to help her if she won’t let us, Jalen?” Mica asked. “She’s a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. We can’t keep her here if she doesn’t want to stay.”

  “You think I fucking don’t know that?” Jalen snapped. When he realized how angry he sounded, he sucked in several deep breaths to get his frustrated ire under control. “I thought we’d made headway with her. I thought she was as attracted to us as we are to her. Looks like I thought wrong.”

  “I don’t believe that.” Mica lobbed his empty beer bottle toward the recycle bin and watched it drop in.

  “She’s scared,” Dante said.

  “Why the fuck would she be scared of us?” Mica asked. “We took her into our home to protect her.”

  “And look how that worked out.” Jalen clenched his fists, glad that he hadn’t broken his hand when he’d punched the counter. He and his brothers had only been working as deputy sheriffs for a couple of months, and he didn’t want to let his new bosses down by injuring himself in a fit of anger. “We fucking failed her. That asshole got to her and kidnapped her anyway. He put his fucking hands on her.”

  “Do you think that’s why she left?” Dante asked. “Do you think that fucker hurt her so badly that she’s scared of us, of all men?”

  “I don’t know,” Jalen answered defeatedly. For the first time in his life, he had no answers and no idea what to do. His heart felt as if it had broken in two, and he wasn’t sure if the pain in it would ever let up. He’d fallen in love with Kat while she’d lived with them, and now that she was gone nothing would ever be the same.

  He’d loved coming home to her after work, seeing her at the stove cooking for him and his brothers. Not because he was a chauvinist and expected that a woman should be cooking and cleaning for her men, but because she’d made their new home seem different. He’d loved seeing her beautiful face and her gorgeous blue eyes light up when she looked at him and his brothers. He loved seeing those plush pink lips tilt up when she’d smiled, and he loved hearing the soft, musical tinkle of her laughter even if that sound had been rationed.

  She’d made their house feel like a home with her feminine presence, and now it just felt empty again. The same way his heart felt.

  Jalen felt as if the organ in his chest was being consumed by a big black hole, and once it had been swallowed, the man he was, had been, would be no more.

  * * * *

  Mica wanted to call Kat and find out for sure where she was. He was worried about her, but if she was scared of him and his brothers, he didn’t want to frighten her further. For the first time in his life, he felt so helpless, and that was hard to deal with. He was a retired Marine and was used to taking action. Even though he was also used to waiting patiently for hours on end for the enemy, this situation with Kat was totally different. Mica could feel her slipping away from him and his brothers fast, and he had no idea what to do to remedy it.

  He and his brothers wanted a relationship with her. They’d tried to court her into their beds, but she’d managed to rebuff them time and time again.
/>   He’d never forget that kiss he shared with her. She’d held herself tense for the first few seconds, but then she’d melted against him. Kat had gone up in flames just like he had, but she’d managed to push him away before things got totally out of hand. Having her in his arms, his hand on her ass, had set his body, his blood on fire and it was a moment that would live in his mind forever.

  He wanted to drive to her apartment and drag her back home where she belonged, kicking and screaming if necessary, but he also didn’t want to terrify her. She and her sister Niki had lived with fear their whole lives, and there was no way in hell he was going to add to that by scaring her more.

  Mica was frustrated beyond belief and had no idea what the next step should be.

  He couldn’t order her to live with them, and he had a feeling if he did, she’d tell him to fuck off.

  Kat Russo portrayed a hard-ass attitude to the world, but he’d seen beyond her cool, aloof and sometimes feisty façade to the woman underneath. Kat wasn’t as immune to him and his brothers as she liked to think she’d led them to believe. He’d seen the desire in her eyes when she’d glanced at Jalen and Dante, had seen her blue eyes haze over with passion after kissing her.

  Mica wasn’t going to give up on her, no matter what.

  Kat was the perfect woman for him and his brothers, and he didn’t care if it took years to wear her down. His ultimate goal was to have her back in their house and in his arms, and he was very determined to get what he wanted.

  Kat belonged with him, Jalen, and Dante.

  She just didn’t know it yet.

  * * * *

  Dante stared at the stove and imagined Kat standing there stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce.

  She was so fucking beautiful, she took his breath away. Her golden, shoulder length, straight blonde hair shone under the bright lights, and her blue eyes sparkled with happiness as she turned toward him. Kat wasn’t as petite as her sister, or as slim, but to him she was abso-fucking-lutely perfect. Her skin was soft and creamy. Her cheekbones were prominent on her heart-shaped face, and she had some of the sexiest curves he’d ever seen on a woman. She was soft and womanly and made him salivate. Kat was an average height of around five-six, which was wonderful since he and his brothers were all so fucking tall.