All or Nothing Read online

  Raiden kept talking softly to her as he pulled out a stethoscope, placed it in his ears then put listening end on her chest, under the neck of her sweater. “Take a deep breath for me, Kat,” Raiden ordered. “Good, and another.” He checked her heart and lungs thoroughly before pulling out a portable blood pressure monitor. “Can you take your sweater off, honey? I just need to make sure your blood pressure isn’t too high.”

  Kat nodded and tried to get her arm out of her sleeve while keeping herself against his chest. Jalen helped her, holding her snug against his body while Raiden took her blood pressure. When the paramedic frowned, Jalen’s heart thumped hard against his sternum.

  “Your blood pressure’s a little high, but considering you had quite the fright, I’m not too worried about it.” Raiden stared into Kat’s eyes. “Since you’re still in shock, I think a mild sedative would be a good idea, and I recommend you visit your regular GP for a thorough check-up.”

  “I don’t need to see a doctor,” Kat murmured. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”

  Jalen sighed at her quick denial. If she wasn’t going to admit she had a problem, how the hell were he and his brothers going to help her? There had to be a way they could get through to her. He wracked his brain trying to think of how to help her without forcing her to do something she didn’t want to and without going behind her back.

  Raiden frowned as he got the sedative ready, and after disinfecting her arm with an alcohol wipe, he pressed the sharp-tipped needle into her skin before slowly plunging the medicine into her body.

  Kat sighed as if in relief, rested her cheek on his chest, and closed her eyes. Although, Jalen knew the serum wouldn’t have worked yet, he wondered if her weariness was catching up with her. When he heard her breathing deepen and even out, a surge of excitement fluttered in his gut. Though she might not admit it, Kat trusted him. She wouldn’t be sleeping in his arms if she didn’t. That gave him hope that things would work out between her, him, and his brothers after all. He just wished he knew what she thought of them all.

  Just because she was attracted to them, even if she tried to hide it, didn’t mean she’d be willing to give a relationship a try with them.

  Little by little, he was hoping to wear her down and to get her to agree to be their woman. Jalen had a feeling that Kat was an all or nothing type of person. She was an independent woman who’d either cut you down at the knees or love you with her whole heart. Jalen wanted her unconditional love and loyalty. He wanted everything with her.

  Marriage, kids, the works.

  Nonetheless, trying to convince her was definitely not going to be a piece of cake.

  * * * *

  Kat blinked her eyes open and stared about the room. It was familiar, but what scared the absolute shit out of her was that she had no memory of how she’d even gotten here. The last thing she remembered was serving Mrs. Hanson at the library. Everything after that was a complete blank. She frowned as she tried to recollect how she’d gotten back to the Donnybrook brothers’ home, but there was just an empty void.

  Flinging the covers aside and getting to her feet, she stumbled toward the adjoining bathroom. Her head was woozy and thickheaded as if she’d spent the night before drinking too much, but Kat never drank to excess. Her father had been a mean drunk, and she’d vowed never to be like him. Sure, she had a glass of wine or two with dinner now and then, but that was it.

  After using the facilities and washing her hands, she had a quick shower, dried off, then brushed her teeth and hair before donning the robe on the back of the door. Since she’d taken all her things home when she’d left the house, she had nothing clean to put on.

  While the thought of not being able to put on clean underwear made her feel vulnerable and exposed, she wasn’t about to put dirty panties on. Thinking about her options, she wondered if the men would mind if she borrowed some of their boxer briefs. Gazing at herself in the mirror as she tried to shore up the courage to face whoever was at home, she couldn’t help but notice how haggard she looked.

  Even though she’d been eating regularly since Jalen, Dante, and Mica hadn’t let her leave the table unless she had, she’d lost weight. Her cheeks were slightly concaved, and there were dark smudges under her eyes. They were so dark, in fact, she almost looked as if she’d gone a round in a boxing ring and come out the loser.

  Kat walked out into the bedroom and froze when she saw Dante lying across the bed. He quickly sat up, stood, and walked slowly toward her. He was being so cautious she couldn’t help but frown up into his gorgeous blue-green eyes. He was so damn tall and muscular, she would have been wary if she hadn’t gotten to know him and his brothers over the last couple of weeks while staying with them.

  Now that the danger was past, there was no need for her to be here.

  Kat planted her hands on her hips and scowled up at him. “What the hell am I doing here?”

  Dante’s frown deepened. “You don’t remember?”

  Though her loss of memory scared the fuck out of her, she wasn’t about to show it or admit to him that she was frightened.

  “Are you hungry, love?”

  Kat nodded, because she was ravenous. Though she still wanted to know what the hell was going on, she decided to play the waiting game. She’d learned to keep her mouth shut while growing up locked up in the mansion in Chicago. Opening her mouth usually got her a backhand, so she’d learned fast not to argue or even stick up for herself. That had all changed after leaving her hometown, and she was never going to let anyone else run roughshod over her. Not even the authoritative Donnybrook men.

  “Do you have some clothes I can borrow?”

  “Sure, love. Come with me.” Dante held his hand out toward her, which she eyed like a snake about to strike, but when she met his eyes again, she sighed with reluctant resignation and placed her hand in his. The resolve in his eyes told her he wasn’t about to back down, and she since she was still feeling a bit groggy and not at her best, she didn’t want to get into an argument with him since she was likely to lose.

  Trying to ignore the heated tingles bubbling in her blood like warm effervescence was difficult, but she wasn’t about to let on how his skin touching hers—even if it was just innocently platonic—affected her.

  Dante led her to his bedroom and she immediately tugged her hand from his, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to get the lust simmering in her belly to settle down. When her gaze locked onto his sexy, muscular ass as he bent over and tugged out a dresser drawer, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from moaning.

  Jalen, Dante, and Mica were the epitome of tall, muscular, and sexy and got her motor revving like no other man ever had.

  Dante was way taller than her own five-foot-six. He had sandy blonde hair, the most amazing combination of blue-green eyes she’d ever seen, which seemed to change from one color to the other depending on his moods, and a brawny body that would make any female, no matter her age, salivate.

  Jalen was the oldest of the three brothers at thirty-five. He was also the tallest and slightly more muscular than Dante. Jalen had green eyes.

  Mica was the baby of the family, but there was nothing babyish or childish about him. He had brown hair, green eyes, and was also ripped with muscles.

  All in all, the Donnybrook men were sex on sticks, but there was no way in hell Kat was getting entangled with the three brothers romantically. That way would only lead her to more heartache and pain.

  Not happening in this lifetime, she vowed.

  Chapter Three

  “Here you are, love,” Dante said as he turned and handed Kat some boxer briefs, a pair socks, sweatpants, and a sweater.

  “Thanks,” she said, taking the clothes from him.

  “Come on out to the kitchen when you’re dressed.” Dante smiled at her when she nodded, then left the room.

  “Is she all right?” Jalen asked as soon as Dante entered the kitchen.

  He rubbed at the back of his n
eck as he eyed his brothers, who were sitting at the kitchen counter sipping on coffee. He shook his head. “I’m not sure.” He elaborated when Mica quirked a brow, “She doesn’t remember how she got here.”

  “That’s not a surprise since she was out cold after being injected with a sedative,” Jalen said.

  Dante scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t think she remembers any of it. When I asked her what she recollected, she shook her head and looked at me blankly.”

  “Fuck, we have to get her some medical help,” Mica said.

  “We can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to,” Dante replied in a low voice. “She needs to recognize she has a health problem before she’ll agree to get help.”

  Dante turned toward the stove and started preparing their breakfast. It didn’t matter to him or his brothers that it was late in the afternoon and nearly dinner time. They’d just come off night shift and their systems were a bit out of whack. Eating a heavy meal after sleeping half the day away didn’t sit right with any of them. They’d decided that bacon, eggs, and toast would be better than loading their bellies with a full dinner.

  Mica shoved to his feet and started toasting the bread while Dante cooked the bacon. Even though his back was to the stove, he knew the second Kat walked into the room. The air became fraught with sexual tension and the back of his neck prickled. When he felt goosebumps pebble over his ass like they had in his bedroom, he couldn’t help smiling with anticipation. Kat might try to hide it, but she was as attracted to him and his brothers as they were to her.

  He wanted to turn around, sweep her up into his arms, and ravish that sexy mouth, but he had a feeling she would blister him with her sharp tongue if he so much as dared to touch her. Seeing her so vulnerable and scared had been an eye-opener to him. She might show the outside world that she was as tough as nails, but inside she was just a marshmallow. She was soft and gooey, but she’d probably cut his balls off with a blunt knife if he so much as suggested it.

  “Have a seat, baby,” Jalen patted the stool next to him.

  Mica poured her a cup of coffee and passed it over. Dante covered the bacon and started cooking the eggs.

  “How are you feeling, sweetie?” Mica asked.

  “Other than feeling like I have a slight hangover, which isn’t possible, I feel fine. Did one of you drug me?”

  “Are you fucking shitting me?” Dante snarled after turning to meet her gaze.

  She blinked with surprise at his aggressive tone, but he wasn’t backing down. How could she believe such a thing of them after they’d taken her into their home to protect her from her criminal father and his henchmen? If she could think such a thought, she obviously didn’t know them at all.

  Kat lowered her gaze to the counter and wrapped her hands around her mug. She shook her head before raising her chin and briefly meeting his eyes before looking at both of his brothers. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I know none of you would do something so horrible.”

  Dante breathed out, releasing his anger with the air from his lungs. With Mica’s help, they plated up the food, got out knives and forks, and he put a plate in front of Kat. He pushed another toward Jalen, then he and Mica picked up their food, walked around to the other side of the counter, and sat.

  “You never did answer my question,” Kat said, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

  “Eat first. We can talk when you’re done.” Dante pointed at her plate.

  She opened her mouth no doubt with a smart-ass response but thought better of it and turned away from him. None of them spoke while they ate, the silence broken by utensils meeting porcelain. Dante kept an eye on Kat, and he was pleased to see that she actually finished her food for the first time since he’d met her. The first couple of times he or his brothers had served her dinner, they’d loaded her plate with the same amount they usually ate. He hadn’t been worried when she hadn’t eaten everything since she was smaller than they were. However, he’d also noticed she never finished everything when she’d cooked and served the food, either. The portions she’d give herself had been minuscule compared to what she’d dished up for them.

  She’d lost weight because of her lack of appetite and her pacing through the long hours of the night. Dante wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool where she’d never get hurt again, but that wasn’t possible.

  The only thing he and his brothers could do for Kat was be there when she needed them.

  He just hoped that she’d let them see the true woman under the rock-hard exterior she showed to everyone else. Kat was the woman of his dreams, but he wasn’t sure he and his brothers would ever get the chance to find out how wonderful she really was. She was like a book that had the pages and the cover superglued shut.

  Was she scared that he and his brothers would end up hurting her emotionally?

  Dante wished he could promise her that he’d never hurt her, but he wasn’t about to make a promise he couldn’t keep. While he had no intention of saying something or doing something to cause her emotional pain, he was a human being and was bound to fuck up a time or two. He also wasn’t used to tiptoeing around someone. Usually he told it how it was, but ever since Kat started staying with them, he’d been careful not to set off that temper.

  Maybe it was time to push her buttons so she’d let loose once and for all, but he was concerned if he did that, she would walk out the door and never look back.

  * * * *

  Kat couldn’t believe how much better she felt after eating a full meal. Over the last two to three weeks, she hadn’t done more than pick at her food. She’d hidden her fear from her sister and the Donnybrook men as best as she could, but her stomach had been a mass of knots and eating had been the last thing she’d wanted to do. More often than not she’d felt nauseous and eating had exacerbated the sick feeling. She’d even vomited a few times but had hidden the sound of her tossing her cookies by turning the shower on.

  When she’d first escaped from her father and his goons, she’d had panic attacks every day and sometimes twice or more in the one day, but the longer she’d been free, the more infrequent the attacks had become. Ever since the peril to her and Niki had escalated and come to a head, she’d felt so out of control. Control was the only thing Kat had, and she’d been adamant no one was ever going to take that away from her again.

  Year after year, she’d had to live locked up in a house full of violent abuse with criminals and verbal set downs. She hadn’t been able to attend school, make friends, or choose what she was going to put in her mouth to eat. Her father had been a cruel dictator, one who’d ruled with an iron fist. Whenever her dad had gotten drunk, which was often, she and Niki almost always ended up on the end of that hard fist. Kat had realized that there was no way he could love her and her sister. She might have been naïve to what was out in the world, but sometimes at night when she and Niki had been locked up and left alone in their room, they’d watched TV. Some of the shows with families had been a surprise to her, but the more she’d watched them and seen how loving and caring the parents were to their kids, the more she’d dreamed that her dad would change. She’d imagined him pulling her into his arms, hugging her tight, and telling her he loved her. Those dreams had slowly faded and been destroyed. The day she’d found out her mom died was the day she’d stopped hoping for such things.

  Her love and trust as a child had been betrayed over and over again, but not just when she was young. There was no way she could count how many times she’d been beaten until she was black and blue all over, until she was hurting so much, so stiff and sore, it had hurt to breathe let alone move.

  She’d tried to be brave and face the pain head-on. She’d stepped in front of Niki over and over to try and save her sister from being hurt again. Niki had always been so much smaller than Kat, and she’d been scared their dad would hit her sister hard enough to kill her.

  The thought of being all alone in that house of horrors had almost destroyed her. The pain
in her heart had been so bad, she could hardly stand it. Dealing with physical pain was so much easier than dealing with the pain of loss. The devastation she’d felt when she’d found out about her mother’s death had nearly crippled her.

  If Niki hadn’t been with her, she wouldn’t have had any reason to go on.

  Kat hadn’t stopped beating herself up for leaving her sister behind more than a year ago. The opportunity to get out had arisen without any planning on her part, and without thinking about anyone but herself, she’d walked away.

  She’d cried an ocean of tears every night until her sister was back with her. The grief and guilt had been difficult to deal with but that hadn’t stopped her from planning. She’d always loved books because they’d been her only way to escape the horrors of her life. Her passion for the written word led her to study online to become a librarian, and though she hadn’t had any experience, Shyann hired her on the spot.

  She’d scrimped and scraped to buy herself the smartphone and, after blocking the number, had called the house almost every day until Rosita, their wonderful housekeeper, had answered. Kat had explained what she’d planned, and with Rosita’s help, they’d managed to help Niki escape.

  Rosita’s death was on her shoulders, too. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t killed the amazingly, loving woman. Kat had hoped that Rosita would have left with Niki, but she’d refused. The news report regarding Rosita’s death had said that she’d been tortured and then her body had been dumped in the woods. There was so much guilt she was carrying around, it was a wonder she could cart the burden.

  She’d left Niki and Rosita behind, and Kat didn’t think she’d ever be able to forgive herself for that. Although Niki told her again and again that she was glad Kat had escaped and she didn’t care that she’d been left behind, Kat couldn’t get past what she’d done.